I’m confused: if the dating apps keep getting worse, how come nobody has come up with a good one, or at least a clone of OkCupid? Like, as far as I can understand not even “a good matching system is somehow less profitable than making people swipe all the time (surely it’d still be profitable on the absolute scale)” or “it requires a decently big initial investment” can explain a complete lack of good products in a very demanded area. Has anyone digged into it / tried to start a good dating app as a summer project?
The Stoics put this idea in a much kinder way: control the controllable (specifically our actions and attitudes), accept the uncontrollable.
The problem is, people's could's are broken. I have managed to make myself much unhappier by thinking I can control my actions until I read Nate Soares' post I linked above. You can't, even in the everyday definition of control, forgetting about paradoxes of "free will".
Mentioned in another comment, but not explicitly: this falls under the general optimisation mindset. Not just blindly repeating the set of actions that once led to a positive outcome, but experimenting further to find the sweet spot/area - be it the optimal amount of More Dakka or Less Dakka. For example, in "The How of Happiness", the author explicitly advises doing the gratitude journal once a week rather than every day, to make it a ritual of actually feeling and expressing gratitude, rather than quickly writing down 3 relatively positive things as quickly as possible; not that the latter isn't effective, but it's less effective than savouring the gratitude. (I think thit pitfall is easy to avoid, but it's a good example) Another example could be sleep: suppose you've tried cutting back on sleep and found that 30 minutes a day for a week didn't affect your cognition. You could try both cutting back another 30 minutes or going the other way and trying to get an extra hour's sleep - what if increasing your sleep time actually gave you benefits that outweighed the extra hour in the evening?
Right, I completely missed the network effects, 5 minutes of thinking through wasn’t enough. May be there even are good apps there, which didn’t make it through the development and marketing part. Thanks, Vanessa!